Articles by Tommy Mackay

Oh Fuck, It’s Ian Brown

  You’ve puckered up your lips and pouted into the thin air FEAR knocked on the door, FAITH opened it – nobody there GET BEHIND YOUR DOORS FOR THE NEW WORLD ORDER Ooooh weee, oh…


The Declaration Of Arbroath

  It’s about time we had another national holiday Christmas, Easter and New Year are so passé The 6th of April sounds good to me When Bernard of Kilwinning tried to set us free He…


When Will I Be Ruth Davidson?

  Yes, you’re suitably at one With The Scotsman and The Sun Yes, you are You’ve read Karl Marx And you’ve taught yourself to dance You’re the best by far But you keep asking the…


Laughtivism

  Do you remember the Irony Revolution When we hilariously overthrew capitalism with our sarcastic cynicism and caustic wit The snark and the sneer at the heart of it Armed with barbed bon mots How…


Zippy and George

  Zippy’s always running around Trying to find controversy He needs all the world to confirm He isn’t a loony George watches the balls Waves a flag and shouts too loud Zippy thinks the world…


Scottish Political Anoraks

  Here are the clinical Unpolished facts For Scottish political anoraks Outside your bubble Nobody cares That you’re taking the trouble To split bawhairs Oh relax, don’t do it, when you want to retweet it…


The Book Of Jenny Says

  Jenny says You know that I’ve been nothing but loyal Faithful, supportive and a true confidante of yours I’ve kept your secrets and I’ve been your friend Kelly says God that was crazy wasn’t…


Bamhead

  Alex Salmond, Alex Salmond More comebacks than Lazarus Alex Salmond, Alex Salmond Painting by Hieronymus…..Bosch! I don’t wanna be in the SNP I wanna start my own wee party I don’t wanna be in…


Pint Of Milk For Sir Charles Walker

  Tory boys, what they like? No conception of real life Big bucks, no shame No fucks given, no blame We’ve had the pig fuckers and the flag shaggers Fish throwers, now dairy products A…


Mike Oxmells

  Mike Oxmells Says I’m lyin’ And I’m losin’ control But the power I’m supplyin’ Is electrifyin’ You’d better wake up I am Douglas Ross But nobody knows my name Not even my boss He…