Speed hovercraft like a bird on the wing
Over the Forth to Fife
We’re coming over to absolve your sins
And spice up your dreary life

First we take Lumphinnans
Then we take Leven

We’ve got Bill Oddie stationed in Kirkcaldy
We’ve got plans for Methilhill
But first we must sacrifice an English body
How about Jimmy Hill?

First we take Lumphinnans
Then we take Leven

Oh, nobody can stop us
Even in Glenrothes
We’ve got Shirley Bassey
Over in Kinglassie

Because it is a kingdom
We need Elvis Presley
To be the patron saint of Cardenden and Leslie

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