A Japanese city has been forced to clarify it is not in fact recruiting ninjas, following reports that it was facing a shortage of skilled assassins. That’s a shame.

 

I was in the best of health
Thirsting for a beer
She exhibited incredible stealth
In fact I didn’t see her
At first, and then she leapt out of the shadows
From behind the crates of Bollinger at Haddows

She said Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiya
I said Hello
She said Eeeeeeee
I said O
This went on for hours
I was enraptured by her powers
How could I resist her?
My beautiful ninja.

Dressed from head to toe in black
At first I thought she was from Iraq

Flip out

Someone said is that Kung Fu?
I said, ‘Naw, she’s only had a pint or two.’

My beautiful ninja.

from the album – Phineas Freak and the Smooth Perturbations