To mark the astounding occasion of Tories winning a by election in Fife, we pay a visit to Dalgety Bay.

Get ti Fife and you will see
Dalgety Bay is the place to be
For sand and surf and lots of sea
And radioactivity

Near Inverkeithing on the coast of Fife
There is a place where you can risk your life
You’ll get a glow in a plutonic way
It’s all on the beach down in Dalgety Bay
Sing out Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor
Plutonium
Come sing me Dalgety Bay
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor

I wonder if it will affect the life
Of all of the good citizens around Fife
Give them superpowers, make them superheroes
They could colonise the east coast from Wick to Melrose
Sing out Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor
Plutonium
Come sing me Dalgety Bay
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor

Tae sup wi a Fifer taks a lang spoon
But a radioactive Fifer could fly to Dunoon
They’ve had their Ready Brek and their curds and whey
Thur a bunch o superheroes in Dalgety Bay
Sing out Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor
Plutonium
Come sing me Dalgety Bay
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, jah hoor

from the album Caledonian Mercury Music by The Sensational Alex Salmond Gastric Band

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