We’re all making placards for Nigel
We’re marching cos we’re mad as hell
We’re all wearing flat caps for Nigel
Nigel’s fucked off to a hotel

And if our Nigel says he’s happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his hotel

We’re all slavering fans of Nigel
He has this thing about British steel
We’ve hired a bus and vans for Nigel
Nigel’s room service makes him squeal
Yeah

And if he orders bent bannanas
From British farmers
In his pyjamas
From the Bahamas, he’s made up

Nigel is never nervous
He likes room service
And saying up the workers too (in his room)
Nigel is happy in his womb (in his room)
We slipped him fifty quid for it too (his room)

We’re all making placards for Nigel
We’re marching cos we’re mad as hell
We’re all wearing flat caps for Nigel
Nigel’s fucked off to a hotel

And if our Nigel says he’s happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his hotel

 

from the album A ‘B’ Road by Half Bam Half Whisky, available here: