Toby Young, oh what a twat
But he’s got a caustic wit
Toby Young, oh what a twat
Deleting all his tweets about tits

How To Lose Friends – a speciality
A pal of Boris but Who Is The Daddy?
Yeah he’s bald, fifty and fat
That’s a fact

Toby Young, oh what a twat
We know he’s smug, he thinks he’s Keats
Toby Young, oh what a twat
Deleted 50,000 tweets

The kind of guy who reviews his lunch
The kind of face that you’d love to punch
Bald, fifty and fat
That’s a fact

Toby Young, oh what a twat,
In charge of universities
Toby Young, oh what a twat,
On a board with chimpanzees

Handing over education funds
To all his Spectator chums
The old boy network’s still in charge
Just ask Mogg, just ask Farage
He’s such a twat
He’s such a twat

from the album Slime Of The Times by Half Bam Half Whisky. Listen here