Only Pools And Horse Manure


As Glasgow’s Lord Provost reveals her shoes and knickers collection, we are reminded of the old MPs expenses scandal of yore:

Stick a pony in me pocket
I’ll pay for riding lessons too
If you want garden fences
Put them on expenses
You wanna moat? I’ve got that too
Where it all comes from is no mystery
It’s straight from the tax payer
That is you and me
Hotel bills paid, that’s for sure
It’s not only swimming pools and horse manure

We got light bulbs, armchairs, second homes, dog food
Hob Nobs, tampax, hanging baskets, garden tools
Pot plants, sofas, widescreen tvs,
Cleaners, plumbers, mock Tudor beams
Beams, beam beams

No income tax, no VAT
No money back, no guarantee,
Boilers, pouffes and nappies,
Chinese rugs and ice cube trays

God bless our MPs
Oven gloves and bonzai trees
Christmas decorations? Oh, please
Do they need helipads, our MPs?
Give them grovel pads, our MPs,
Our MPs

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