Dear Mr Brown,
I see you are down as a Jedi
Are you really sure?
Also it says your colour is beige
Occupation: extracting urine
And next to Sex it says ‘Please’
Hereditary illness: knobbly knees

Dear Mrs Smith,
You’re taking the piss
When your address is the garden shed
Also we see your husband of 93
Is strictly speaking clinically dead
Thanks for your hobbies, Mrs Jones:
Earth shattering orgasmic groans

Dear Mr Green,
Your entry’s obscene
We’ll strike you from our database
You might think it is funny to shit on the form
And say ‘analyse this’
Senseless census, have a bleeding guess
Unknown at this address

from the album, Laughtivism by Tommy Mackay

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