“Now, there’s a lot of turbulence out there just now. It’s here, it’s in America, it’s in the Far East, it’s in Europe. It’s everywhere. What we’re trying to do here is…stamp down on it and stamp down hard.”

Eyebrows shouldn’t touch
(Alistair Darling)
Well, his don’t… that much
(Alistair Darling)

He got 50 billion to save the bankers
We know that they’re all a bunch of…gangsters
Everyone’s skint
The royal mint has a hole
See you all on the dole

His hair’s snowy white
(Alistair Darling)
He smells of…desperation
(Alistair Darling)

Tescos say every little helps
Not when you’re raking their bins with Vanessa Feltz
The future is bleak
The future is beige
Ben Elton’s writing the musical with Elaine Page

“Stamp down on it, Stamp down on it, Stamp down on it. Stamp down hard.”

Where are the cash cows?
(Alistair Darling)
Look at those eyebrows!
(Alistair Darling)

His coffers are meagre
(Alistair Darling)
He looks like a zebra
(Alistair Darling)

He’s a badger with cash
(Alistair Darling)
He’s not really flash
(Alistair Darling)

“It’s not ‘difficult times’, Chancellor. It’s a crisis!”

“But, but…”

from the album SW1 by Tommy Mackay