words: @wintee, illustration: @HopelessSurfer

 

Running for a car down in London
Trying to get to County Durham
The government said, get back here instead
You know they didn’t even give us a chance.

Christ you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be.
My vision is going, I’d better drive now to see

Finally made it up to the parents
Spreading COVID all of the way
Michael Gove called to say, Boris not OK
Must get down to London today

Christ you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be
My vision is going, I better drive now to see

Drove from Daddy’s to Barnard Castle,
Just to check that I wasn’t blind
Said “Hello” to a chap, then we drove straight back
I’m only trying to stop the disease

Christ you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be
My vision is going, on the A63

Saving up your petrol for a rainy day
Giving COVID to your family
Last night the wife said oh boy when you’re dead
I hope you take nothing with you, have you got a soul?
Think!

Made a lightning trip back to Checkers
Boris made me bring him some fags
The newspapers find, I’m not legally blind
They look just like two dildos in black!

Christ you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be.
My vision is going, I better drive now to see

Did a press conference in London
Now everyone understands
Laura Kuenssberg say “We believe you, OK”
Piers Morgan thinks I’m talking out of my pants

Christ you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be!
My vision is going, I better drive now to see.
My vision is going, I think I’d better flee

from the album The Great Dominic Swindle