During the covid I’ve been drinking beer
On sunny days I drink outside
And you can hear it in my accent when I talk
I’m an East coaster in Strathclyde

See me walking down Byres Road
With a kerry oot in tow
I take it everywhere I walk
I’m an East coaster in Kelvingrove

Oh, I’m a criminal, I’m an actual criminal
With a cold tinny in KG
Oh, I’m a criminal, cracking open in the sun
A cold tinny in KG

Imagine Police Scotland cared about literally
Any actual crime as much
as they care about someone cracking open a cold tinny
In KG under the sun

Oh, I’m a criminal, I’m an actual criminal
With a cold tinny in KG
Oh, I’m a criminal, cracking open in the sun
A cold tinny in KG

 

based on a tweet by @cliomcl – “imagine Police Scotland cared about literally any actual crime as much as they care about someone cracking open a cold tinny in KG under the sun”