The problem is all inside your head,” she said to me
“The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your comedy career

She said, “The Chancellor’s got a point, don’t you agree?
There’s far too many comedians in comedy
We only need the same ones who are always on TV
There must be fifty ways to leave your comedy career
Fifty ways to leave your comedy career”

Go to work in Tesco, Jo
Driving a van, Jan
Get to Amazon warehouse, Klaus
Lidl for Sid’ll do
Try driving a bus, Gus
What is all the fuss?
Just listen to Richi
And get yourself free
Retrain in Waitrose
Or put on a red nose
They need clowns in Poundland
Pack cheese in Aldi’s
Stack pasta in Asda
Your set’s a disaster
Just listen to Richi
And set yourself free

Words: @TheRealSteveDay and Mackay
Apologies to Paul Simon and the entire comedy community

Please follow and like us: