Here comes the beast from the east
With ten centimetres at least
Those snowflakes will kick up a storm
Here’s a radical suggestion
Put on your wellies and scarf
It’s winter – you having a laugh?
Call Randall & Hopkirk deceased
Here comes the beast from the east

screams
Don’t panic
Wur doomed
Run for your lives! etc.
He’s eating everything in his path!

Oh pretty baby
Will we stockpile bread
I’ll just go crazy
If I stay in bed
It’s really freezin
Is this another Ice Age?

It’s only weather
It’s just a bit of snow
Get it together
We’ve seen it all before
Now it’s a terror weather forecast drama

There goes the beast from the east
In future can we just say wheesht
To all the hyperbole fools
And buy them waterproof kagoules
Don’t cut aboot in a string vest
The arctic circle’s a mess
As global warming speeds forth
Look out for the beast from the north