If you are going on TV
Make sure everyone can see
A giant picture of the queen
And a union jack the size of Aberdeen

Making up for your inadequacy
With a piece of coloured cloth lying limply
Like a wee man with a flashy car
We know you’ve got a tiny dick, so ha ha ha

Flag shagger, flag shagger
Show us yer flag
Give us somethin’ that we can remember
And a big pic
Of the queen ya wee dick
Get it up ye

Flag shagger, flag shagger
You just look sad
We all know that your life is just empty
Have you got a bulldog
Or a Jacob Rees Mogg blow up doll

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