The tourist board sell Jimmy hats
A tartan bunnet with ginger hair hanging out
Oh, you wanna buy some Jimmy hats
I blame Russ Abbot – he fills me with dread
Cut off his ears and chop off his head
If you want to make a new Jimmy hat
So if you love a party with an atmosphere
You will quickly kill it if you wear a towel kilt
Or if you wear a Jimmy hat
Police come in they said
Now, Where’s your Jimmy hat?
I said, hmm I was wearing it but uh,
I took it off
What is it they’re looking for?
Jimmy hats, hats, hats, hats eh
I blame Russ Abbot – he fills me with dread
Cut off his ears and chop off his head
If you want to make a new Jimmy hat, hat, hat…
Well look at that!
I feel like a Scotsman,
But I look like a twat!
The police walked in for Jimmy hats
I said, use your own helmets, stick ginger tufts to that
There, they’re lovely Jimmy hats
Don’t you bother me, not anymore
I can’t take this tale, oh, no more
It’s all around, Jimmy hats
H-a-t-s, H-a-t-s
T-W-A-T Jimmy hats
And then there’s socks
I said, sock that!
So go look all around, you can try your luck, brother
And see what you found
But I guarantee you twats will wear them anyway
They’re only a pound by the way
Pound shop!
from the album Scotland’s Calling by The Sensational Alex Salmond Gastric Band
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