(Gin you’re surprised a village drunk
Foreign references s’ud fool in,
You ha’ena the respect you s’ud
For oor guid Scottish schoolin’.

For we’ve the maist unlikely folk
Aye braggin’ o’ oor lear,
And, tho’ I’m drunk, for Scotland’s sake
I tak’ my barrowsteel here!

Yet Europe’s faur eneuch for me,
Puir fule, when bairns ken mair
O’ th’ ither warld than I o’ this
—But that’s no’ here nor there!)…

Guid sakes, I’m in a dreidfu’ state.
I’ll ha’e nae inklin’ sune
Gin I’m the drinker or the drink,
The thistle or the mune.

I’m geylies feart I couldna tell
Gin I su’d lay me doon
The difference betwixt the warld
And my ain heid gaen’ roon’!…

 

from A Drunk Man Looks at Throbbing Thistle