The man with a penis on his arm Lacking sincerity and charm It’s such an unpleasant growth The man with a penis on his arm He needs a brain transplant She needs an arse…

  I drove my tractor through your haystack last night Fnarr fnarr I made a film of it and it turned out alright But some guy in the house of commons watched it online And…

  I was shopping on the internets in my boxer shorts Electronically excited to exercise my sports I bought a bat and shuttlecock, I’m fully equipped All I need now is a tennis pitch Nadine,…

  Well, everybody’s talking and splitting bloody hairs Everybody’s breaking rules and no one really cares There’s matches in the commons, just below the stairs Always something happening and nothing going on There’s always something…

    It smells a little fishy Oh my little Rishi Smells a little fishy When your wife’s non-dom* You don’t have to work hard You can get a green card Lie until you get…

  I love big tables And ancient fables Russians don’t fear the reaper But for some reason we fear Ukraine We can be like Stalin Get a table extension (get it from IKEA) I always…

  God save our gracious Queen Although it’s quite obscene Twelve million quid Saving her noncey son From pros-e-cu-tion While there’s a smoking gun Tw-elve mill-ion quiiiiiid   words: Craig Smith @Smicht    see also:…

  I’ve got champagne You’ve got the crooks Let’s make lots of money You’ve got the hat I’ve got the hair Let’s make lots of… Can’t get enough of scheming And taking the piss I’m…