Walk Like A Binman
33 years ago Over a few cans of Kestrel At Invergowrie Services I said to the Bangles Swap Binman for Egyptian And you’ve got a hit The rest is history Susanna Hoffs said I…
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Sniff On
Let’s draw a line and snort it up our noses Chop, chop, move on let’s feed our psychosis Let’s celebrate and have another party Forget wine time, now it’s time for Charlie Sniff. sniffy,…
Fuck The Jubilee
In 1977 I was seventeen Another Jubilee We sang God Save The Queen Now it’s 2022 We’re still ruled by the same old crew Now with added sweaty nonce too Fuck the jubilee Feed…
Alternative Platinum Party
Based on Happy Toast’s poster, here are clips from what, in a parallel universe, the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee party would actually sound like.
The F Word
Mhairi Black succinctly sums it up. Accompanied by Pop Muzik. see also:
Corrupt Criminal Conservatives
Michael Gove has a perfectly normal one, accompanied by Hannah Bardell. see also:
The Man With A Penis On His Arm
The man with a penis on his arm Lacking sincerity and charm It’s such an unpleasant growth The man with a penis on his arm He needs a brain transplant She needs an arse…
Nadine
I was shopping on the internets in my boxer shorts Electronically excited to exercise my sports I bought a bat and shuttlecock, I’m fully equipped All I need now is a tennis pitch Nadine,…
Naebdy Telt Me
Well, everybody’s talking and splitting bloody hairs Everybody’s breaking rules and no one really cares There’s matches in the commons, just below the stairs Always something happening and nothing going on There’s always something…
Little Rishi
It smells a little fishy Oh my little Rishi Smells a little fishy When your wife’s non-dom* You don’t have to work hard You can get a green card Lie until you get…