I want to marry a Muirfield member
And keep him company
I want to marry a Muirfield member
And be his caddy

I’ll polish his wood by the light of day
And shout Fore! and maybe wahey!
I want to marry a Muirfield member
Won’t that be okay?

We can go all 18 holes
And get caught in the rough
We won’t invite more ladies in
Just the one’s enough

I dream of playing at Muirfield, baby
And setting up his tee
I dream of playing at Muirfield
I love the 19th century

So if you want to make my dreams come true
You’ll marry a Muirfield member too
We could live in Muirfield
Practicing misogyny.
ahahahay
Won’t that be okay?

Yatatatata

from the album Stramashups by Tommy Mackay. Listen here