There’s an arsehole with floppy hair
Yes, it’s Boris Johnston – London Mayor
He’s a pillock, but those cockernees
Think it’s funny they’ve elected him big cheese

What a show, there he goes befriending Merseyside, yeah
If it wasn’t for ‘Have I Got News For You’ he’d have died without a trace

Crazy Boris
Crazy Boris
Crazy Boris
Crazy Boris

He’s a fop, he’s a real fun guy
Flopping around London on his wee pushbike
The last incumbent was a fan of newts
But this new one, he prefers jackboots

What a show, there he goes sweeping back his fringe, yeah
A million cockneys every day open their Standard and pray to

Crazy Boris
Crazy Boris
Crazy Boris
Crazy Boris

So take a good look around
See what you’ve done

from the album Phineas Freak & The Smooth Perturbations