Brexit secretary Dominic Raab says the government will have to take steps to ensure that there are adequate food supplies for Britain to cover the eventuality of a no-deal departure from the European Union. Ah… remember the days when Scotland came second in the fattest country in the world competition?
I turned on the news today
What do you think they had to say?
Scotland is the second fattest country
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride
Eat more bridies, take more pride
We’ve only got America to beat
I am just a skinny Jim
Clearly, I’m not putting the effort in
You can call me unpatriotic if you must do
Every little nibble helps
But I won’t be Vanessa Phelps
Eating all the pies and the crusts too
Yesterday I went to Greggs
I stuffed my face, my belly, my legs
Ate the people in front of me in the queue
We won’t be beaten by the polls
More fudge doughnuts, more sausage rolls
Eat yer maw, yer paw, yer dug if you have to
from the 2007 album Reckless Rants by Tommy Mackay
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