Last Christmas you hated the scarf
That cost me 10 quid from C&A
This year to save you from tears
I’ll give you a fucking voucher

I thought it was about peace and love
But it’s about matching the scarf and gloves
I thought it was the thought that counts
But only if it comes in large amounts

Enforced jollity at office parties
Photocopying our hairy arses
Getting stuff and getting stuffed and filling up the freezer
It’s nothing to do with that Jesus geezer

On the first day of Christmas I
Burned my tongue on a home made mince pie
I know it’s all about the shops
This isn’t Christmas food, it’s M&S slops

from the album Purple Reindeer by The Artist Formerly Known As Tinsel