Uri Geller


Good evening
Here’s a letter; In case you cannot read
It’s from a fake illusionist to a fake delusionist
Who’s not doing very well

Oh well, his name is Uri Geller
He’s such a funny fellah
He’s a bugger for the Stella
I met him once in Portobellah
A wonderous discovery
A mincing Mossad protege
A master of skullduggery
He’ll bend your mind,
Or cutlery

When he first met Theresa
He showed her a spoon from that Winston Churchill geezer
It was on his Cadillac
I’m not saying he’s a quack
But he’s not doing very well

Years ago he predicted victory,
Specifically he picked Theresa May
To be leader literally
He didn’t predict her bigotry
But now he says emphatically
He’ll stop her telepathically
A course of action drastically
Validated by the CIA

He says that he admires her
But unfortunately her lies are
Tearing up the nation
He’s quickly losing patience
And also clientele

He’s just a throwback to the 70s
Just like Jeremy Corbyn
Who he says will never get the keys
To number ten

From Maidenhead to Mossad
Via Michael Jackson – he’s bad
A Richard Littlejohn fan
He’s just a fucking con man
What a tosser, Uri Geller

with thanks to @bobagnew11 , @doc_shanley , and apologies to Ian Dury

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