Alastair Campbell wrote saucy diaries
Tony Blair gave good hair,
His smile was better than Cherie’s
And all the time Ali fancied Tony rotten,
While trying to pretend that he was tough,
The thing that everybody has forgotten
Is that Alastair just loved a bit of rough,
For him, John Prescott was not enough

Alastair didn’t care if his mission failed
As long as he saw Tony naked reading the Daily Mail.
He helped him with his loofah every bathtime
He told him where to scrub and just how hard,
He sold his arse and soul for twenty Woodbine,
He said ‘Make it so,’ just like Jean-Luc Picard
He fucked Mandelson, the BBC and Scotland Yard

from the album Return Of The Living Dead by Defunct Boy 3. Listen here

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