Mark Francois


Hi, my name is Mark Francois, (you’re hard, you’re hard)
Behold my genitalia (my genitalia)
My name sounds like it is French (Francois, Francois)
But it’s not, I am hench
A sweaty bulldog in a suit
Half man, half beetroot
I am smug and in rude wealth,
I like staring at Will Self
I am in the ERG,
And I was in the army (at weekends)

Now I fight for the Brexit cause,
And tell Phil Hammond ‘Up yours!’
I’ve got Jacob Rees Mogg’s back,
We should’ve been on Crackerjack (Crackerjack!)
Some say I look like Peter Glaze (Crackerjack!)
Try telling that to the kids these days
I like driving people mad
I think I’m hard, but I’m just sad
Hi, my name is Mark Francois
Yuk yuk yuk fnaar fnaar

I’m as hard as nails I am
Hard as nails I am I am


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1 Comment on "Mark Francois"

  1. Hi Mork,
    I really liked your column in the Daily Reckless.
    Are you going to make regular contributions to this organ or are too busy with the ice buns?
    Also, are the rumors true that you are the Grand Wizard of the Glans Klan?
    Pip pip

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