As it is revealed that free cash machines are vanishing at an alarming rate, we remember the day an ATM in Dundee started spitting out double money…

 

Well I don’t know why I came here tonight,
Was it for Carlsberg or Marlboro light?
When I put my card into the machine
I got more money than I’ve ever seen
Pounds to the left of me, Visa card alight
Here I am,
Stuck in the Scotmid with you

Well I try to make some sense of Dundee
But economics make no sense in Lochee
It’s so hard to take this smile off my face
The cash is comin’ out all over the place
Tenners to the left of me, twenties to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the Scotmid with you

Well I started out with nothing
And now I’ve got 200 quid
I only went out shopping
Ended up at Scotmid to buy cheese! Cheese!

Stuck in the Scotmid with you
Just form an orderly queue.
I’ll have 200 scratchcards thank you.

 

from the album New Scotland by The Sensational Alex Salmond Band