I’ll pledge allegiance to the Queen
For the purposes of the job
Or swear on the life of my Auntie Jean
I cannae just shut ma gob

I’ll cross my fingers as I speak
Cos that makes it OK
Nick some chips, I’m here all week
Then back to Paisley

I didnae get chucked oot
I didnae get chucked oot
I didnae get chucked oot
I didnae get chucked oot – yet

It’s time to get down and dirty
With the SNP
Waiting to be section thirtied
Waiting to be free

So if you’re feeling down or listless
Or if you have the fear
Have yourself a Mhairi Christmas
And a happy new year

I’m dreaming of a Mhairi Black Christmas
Buy my Christmas album!
Sex! Politics! Sausage Rolls!