Alastair Stewart used to present
A show about police car chases and accidents
Then he was done for driving drunk and disorderly
I hope he appreciated the irony

He used to present News At Ten
When Trevor Macdonald had a break now and then
He’s slick and he’s sickly and I don’t know why
I’m even singing about this guy

There are more important things in this world
Than ex newsreaders who make everybody hurl
There is pestilence and war and hate
But Al has covered all of them, so great

Aren’t we all lucky living in the multimedia
If you don’t know Al, look him up on Wikipedia
My interest in him is waning all along
It’s time to abruptly terminate this song

 

From the album A.S. by The Sensational Alex Salmond Gastric Band