I crashed my computer just the other day
It was due to a bug – coronavirus they say
I was stranded in a pun about a beer at the time
Trying to fit in a reference to a lemon or a lime
Of course everyone had done that joke well before me
The difference is the Daily Reckless has to sing it, you see?
But how was I to know that the next photo I’d spy
Was a boy with a tattoo of Boris Johnson on his thigh

Meanwhile, back on the web

Baby, baby, what’s that guff?
Your genitals will never know the touch of love*
He’s stranded at the gas station of love**
Using the self-service pump**
Oh bleeurgh!
Oh bleeurgh!

Meanwhile, back in the real world

The media were saying we’re all going to hell
People were panic buying bog rolls and hand gel
When I woke up and my head started to clear
I had a strange feeling I was getting the fear
I thought about a face mask cos that’s what we’ve been told
But what I really needed was some pins or a blindfold
My eyes, my eyes were burning as I strained to see
That’s when I found out that tattoo was haunting me

Good god, get me outta here!

Baby, baby, what’s that guff?
Your genitals will never know the touch of love
He’s stranded at the gas station of love
Using the self-service pump
Oh bleeurgh!
Oh bleeurgh!

 

*line by @Writerer

** lines by @Head4Heights