Don’t Come Back You Wanker


Slip inside the flap of your tent
Oh Toto we’re not in Kent

This looks like the Highlands to me
Or it could be Elie
I don’t really know

If they start a revolution when I’m gone
I’ll just stay under this tarpaulin
Step outside, summertime’s in bloom
Stand up beside the farmer’s gate
He said get yer arse oot, mate
You don’t want to come back here to Scotland

And so Carrie can wait
She knows it’s too late
As we’re camping in Fife
And all the locals say
Don’t come back you wanker*
Stay away


*with thanks to @RobinFlavell for the title

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2 Comments on "Don’t Come Back You Wanker"

  1. Hahaha love it

  2. Another of your greats. Loved it

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