No Creative Scotland money
For Scottish live comedy
Why? Because they do not think comedy is art,
It stinks to high heaven, aye

When I played The Stand, I was proud
Cos they’re not just one of the crowd
Monkey Barrel, many more across the land
You know the score
Theatre, ballet 1, comedy nil

Scottish comedy, it’ll never ever be any good
Scottish comedy – it never ever does what it should
But just because it doesn’t come under high culture
That’s no reason why I can’t give it all my love
There’s only so much you see, you can do for charity
Save Scottish comedy
And the economy

Can you name five Scottish ballet dancers?
No ye can’t, ya chancers
But you can name five Scottish comedians

 

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