Once upon a time not so very long ago
There was a little thing called a lockdown, oh
You had to stay at home and listen to the radio
Then came a man with bad eyesight
Ever since then it’s being going to shite
Now it’s the more the merrier, including Margaret Ferrier, oh oh oh
Rutherglen, Rutherglen, Rutherglen, Rutherglen
Rutherglen, Rutherglen, Rutherglen, Rutherglen
Dishonourable member for Rutherglen
Rutherglen, Rutherglen, Rutherglen, Rutherglen
One rule for us, one rule for them
Why don’t you do it, why don’t you do it again?

She spent a long, long train ride travelling to Westminster
He spent a long long car ride going to Durham and further
And if you thought that they were bad
There’s also Boris Johnson’s fucking dad
They’re all fucking mad
Well, everybody has to sometimes break the rules
Apparently
Oh yes they do
They really do