words: Martin Rowson
He has a drink but doesn’t think
That anyone will care,
Hosts a bash, goes on the lash
Then claims he wasn’t there
When asked for explanations
He’ll blub it isn’t fair
I think he’s going to fuck it for us Tories!
He treats all high affairs of state
As just a silly game
While all other affairs he’s had
Will see him shift the blame
While smirking for the cameras
Because he has no shame…
…Exactly like the rest of all us Tories!
I’d like to say, although it’s indiscreet:
He won… me my… seat
How do you solve a problem li-i-ike Boris?
How do you feed an arsehole its own shit
How do you find a word that sums up Boris?
A sociopath! A charlatan! A tit!
Many a gaffe you’d like him to acknowledge,
To tell the truth and lead and know he’s sinned,
To wake up and see the score
And settle for cheap decor
How do you nail a fart upon the wind?
Oh how do you solve a pro-o-o-blem like Boris?
How are we going to get this fucker binned?
He’s lost count of all his kids
He would fuck some giant squids
And then press the molluscs for a hefty loan
And deny it to Lord Geidt
Who’ll believe the lying shite
When he claims that was all done on an old phone
He thinks it’s just a joke
Then he’ll give your wife a poke
Indifferent to every fresh affront
He’s a narcissist, a liar,
A fantasist! He’s dire!
He’s a wanker! He’s a monster!
He’s a cunt!
How do you solve a problem li-i-i-ike Boris?
How do you feed an arsehole its own shit?
How do you find a word to sum up Boris?
A Crook! A Chancer! Psychopath! A Git!
Many a time, pretending we’re still smiling,
We’ve been yearning he’d fall under a bus…
…But how can we wield the knives
To save our political lives
When you’re as complicit in his crimes as us?
Oh how do you solve a problem li-i-i-ike Boris
When the alternative will be Liz Truss?