I’ve just nicked a giant bar of Dairy Milk
And I’ve hidden it underneath me jacket
I’ve also swiped a Curly Wurly and shoved it down me trousers
Confectionery these days cost a packet

I’m waiting for a little bear in a duffle coat
I’m a trainspotting rock n roller
I’m exploring the space inside my head
Hope I don’t get nicked by the Fat Controller

I felt the chocolate start to melt
And it’s running down my thigh
That bear better get here soon
Or I’m gonna cry
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do right now

And all the goo is rolling to my ankles
What am I gonna do if Thomas the Tank comes
There are many trains that I could get on I suppose
But I don’t know how

Oh maybe
British Rail is gonna save me
How did it come to this?
I should’ve just nicked some crisps

with thanks to Ricardo Autobahn for the inspiration

see also:

Dynamic Pricing

Pretty Much Bollocks