Celia has been breaking wind in a hut again
Listen
Don’t look at the carpet, she dribbled something awful on it
See
She’s such a wonderful person
But she’s got problems
Oh-oh-oh-oh

Celia, she’s having a fart
She’s breaking apart all the traitors
Oh Celia, it’s funny because
She’s old and she’s posh and she swears
Who fucking cares?

with apologies to David Bowie and Simon & Garfunkel