Entertainment

King Of The Cringe

  Jeremy Vine for rent To the monarchy or government Just how low can he bow How now can he kow tow Oh ma’am what shall we do Even a raised eyebrow will do I’ll…


Scottish Political Anoraks

  Here are the clinical Unpolished facts For Scottish political anoraks Outside your bubble Nobody cares That you’re taking the trouble To split bawhairs Oh relax, don’t do it, when you want to retweet it…


Brexit’s Yellowhammer

  A political pundit met a physical Bullingdon bully Asking quite politely if they could read A summary So they printed a sterling work of literature Called Yellowhammer Six whole pages, without any pictures Oh,…


Coppers Got a Brand New GrabBag

  Police Scotland have reassured the public by issuing this statement. Carry on: “September is preparedness month. Emergencies can happen at any time and it’s recommended to have a #GrabBag ready containing essential items including…


Leopold Bloom’s Kitchen

  The inner organs of beasts and fowls In Leopold Bloom’s kitchen Relish yer breakfast then move your bowels Leopold Bloom’s kitchen Talk to the cat, then the butcher’s, call in For a pork kidney…


History Is A Nightmare

  History is a nightmare From which I am trying to awake God is a shout in the street And Jesus birthday cake Teaching victories Of Pyrrhus of Epirus Cyril Sargent stay behind For arithmetic…


Recklesses

High concept album based on the greatest book ever written, Ulysses, with a Reckless twist. Track listing: 1. Buck Mulligan 2. History Is A Nightmare 3. Proteus 4. Leopold Bloom’s Kitchen 5. Beware Of Henry…


Prorogue Mahone

  The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of destruction A real bellender Bad lookin’ unrefined Say, wouldn’t you like to know what’s goin’ on in our minds?…


The Last Fish Supper

As Anstruther Fish Bar wins the best chip shop in Scotland award, we remember that time we enjoyed a religious experience with a fish supper in Fife. I was lost in Fife I was fearful…


When Mark E Smith Met Matt Berry

pic: Pamela Vander Black Paternoster from the album The Gospel According to Matt, Mark, Luke and John. Listen here Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, Bless the bed that I lie on. Four corners to my…