Oh Fuck, It’s Ian Brown
You’ve puckered up your lips and pouted into the thin air FEAR knocked on the door, FAITH opened it – nobody there GET BEHIND YOUR DOORS FOR THE NEW WORLD ORDER Ooooh weee, oh…
Entertainment
Scottish Political Anoraks
Here are the clinical Unpolished facts For Scottish political anoraks Outside your bubble Nobody cares That you’re taking the trouble To split bawhairs Oh relax, don’t do it, when you want to retweet it…
The Book Of Jenny Says
Jenny says You know that I’ve been nothing but loyal Faithful, supportive and a true confidante of yours I’ve kept your secrets and I’ve been your friend Kelly says God that was crazy wasn’t…
Lockdown
Lockdown, lockdown If you’re losing the game And shifting the blame Don’t start crying You could still push ahead Or maybe instead You could be dying Playing a blinder There’s a sidewinder Behind you…
Fairweather Bootlicker
He’s a fairweather bootlicker* Get it together dickhead, whoa He’s in love with Meghan Markle He don’t like his boring job, no He’s a fairweather bootlicker Get it together dickhead, whoa He’s in love…
Tabloid Beast
After his latest pantomime stunt, we look back at Piers on Desert Island Discs.
Pandemic Of Stupidity
There’s a pandemic of stupidity spreading throughout the land From government to banjo players and some football fans They’re all good clean Britishers abiding by the law Sticking up for freedom of speech and…
Handsome In The Half-Light
When I passed you in the bedroom You didn’t give me a second glance I should’ve kept my socks on Or at least my pants You don’t seem to notice me at all Whatever…
Pearl Clutchers
Pearl clutchers They are outraged and easily triggered Everything’s toxic Pearl clutchers God knows how they have lasted in this life My job is entertaining folks Singing songs and telling jokes And fucking swearing…
Awry
There was a time I looked up to people Then I grew up and looked down on people Then I thought everyone was equal Except you and you and you and you Now everything’s…