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My Bruvver

  Phaugh… There’s something funny round here, What is it Ohh! it’s you Come here and sit down, You’re gonna have the truth told about you and put on record ‘Ere, please do not sit…


History Is A Nightmare

  History is a nightmare From which I am trying to awake God is a shout in the street And Jesus birthday cake Teaching victories Of Pyrrhus of Epirus Cyril Sargent stay behind For arithmetic…


Willie Rennie Mackintosh

  If you like your furniture slightly Art Nouveau With a hint of liberalism, there’s this guy I know Willie Rennie Mackintosh – some say he is a fud Willie Rennie Mackintosh – he is…


Delete! Delete! Delete!

So, farewell then, Ruth Davidson.  We have so many memories of the duplicitous, disingenuous bauchle.  So, as she sails off into the sainted sunset, let us remember that time she panicked over her drunken tweets:  …


Prorogue Mahone

  The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of destruction A real bellender Bad lookin’ unrefined Say, wouldn’t you like to know what’s goin’ on in our minds?…


Who Knew? England

  I am president of the United States I’m doing a great job. Everything is great People ask when will you grow up to be a man I have to tell them I have a…


Cum On Feel The Pies

  Don’t panic, don’t panic So you think I like a sausage roll well I`ll tell you honey I’ve got evil eyes , I’ve got evil eyes So you think I don’t know what I’m…


Dumber And Dumberer

  Dumber and dumberer Oh my lord Trump and Johnson have an accord They’ve had a laugh as their shares soared Dumber and dumberer Oh my lord Now they’re doing the spider man meme It’s…


I Never Have Read The Bible

  I never have read the Bible, no no no no I Never have read the Bible Even though I’m the King of Israel and I am the chosen one Though I’ve tried and tried…


The Last Fish Supper

As Anstruther Fish Bar wins the best chip shop in Scotland award, we remember that time we enjoyed a religious experience with a fish supper in Fife. I was lost in Fife I was fearful…