She Conned Her Papa (Ivanka)
What she did with her emails Is so criminal Is so dishonest Is so shocking She was willing to risk our foreign enemies reading her emails She lied a dog on her emails She…
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Noel Edmonds Cancer Box
It’s No.1 It’s Top of the Pops It’s Noel Edmonds’ Cancer Box There’s a man with a plan And a helicopter and a gunge tank He’s mistra Noel He’s not weird, and his beard In…
Nanny Is A Nazi
I am Jacob, look at me I’m fwom the nineteenth centuwy I know Latin, I know Gweek That mummy May has got a cheek She said that I was a big baby But it’s…
Raking Bad
The President of America met the President of Finland The President of America met the President of Finland Apparently they talked about raking the forest floor But one president said the other was just…
A Pig Boy Did It And Ran Away
How has it come to this you say? A pig boy did it and ran away We’re in the shit, he’s making hay A pig boy did it and ran away We used to…
The Diarrhoea Of A Madwoman (I Resign)
This is a Brexit Got the runs in the end It touches almost every area And am I going to see this through? Yes Brexit’s good to me, you know It makes me feel…
I Am Not A Fish-Thrower
I am not a fish-thrower, Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum. Call me Jacob unless you are from Cambridge Analytica Oi! I don’t have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle,…
Old English Spangles (Send In The Brexiting Clowns)
If every child in the country doesn’t get more packets of Old English Spangles than they can eat in a lifetime on the 30th of March, Theresa May and her sorry crew of twitching wankers…
My Cuckoo Queue
Andrew Neil is forced to delete his creepy misogynystic tweet. But he’s still a massive smug faced cock for calling Bobby Gillespie a miserable Jock… Queue, queue for the E.U. That’s what they said we’ll have…
Man Spider
R.I.P. Stan Lee ManSpider, ManSpider, does whatever a man can, Spreads his legs, when he sits Explains why you’re wrong and looks at your tits Look out, here comes the Man Spider Is he wrong…