News

Wightman In Holyrood Parly

  Who Owns Scotland The aristocracy who came before us They handed it all down and divvied it all up But the poor had no lawyers Lords and conglomorates Scooping up all the acres We’re…


Now Is Not The Time

We were on the cliff edge and Theresa May says Rollover Willie, Ruth and Kez, Theresa May sez Rollover So they all rolled over but Nicola said No So Theresa May said Now is not…


I Wanna Marry A Muirfield Member

I want to marry a Muirfield member And keep him company I want to marry a Muirfield member And be his caddy I’ll polish his wood by the light of day And shout Fore! and…


Porn Stash

Let the sideshow begin In Japan lived a guy And this man was called Joji Onanism was his bag Till his jazz mags fought back Ever since his balls dropped He played till his eyes…


Sadiq Khan

Sometimes it’s hard to be the Mayor of London I can’t imagine what it’s like in Scotchland I’m not saying your racists Well, not to your faces But really that’s the gist of my cunning…


Storm Doris (She’s Got Harry Lauder Eyes)

There’s a good old Scottish custom that has stood the test o’time, It’s a custom that’s been carried out in every land and clime. When ever there’s some weather, it’s aye the usual thing, Just…


Compulsive Liar

I flew into space With Ant and Dec and Chevvy Chase I was in a film with Ross from Friends I am the Queen at the weekends I’m Paul Nuttall, compulsive liar My trousers, pants,…



No To Joy

  So farewell United Kingdom You have left us with no choice Pushed the Bill through – no amendments Clearly Scotland has no voice The real fight starts now, so says Corbyn Handing Theresa a…