Politics

Aberdeen Anguish

  Aberdeen anguish Mind yer virus Oh dear, Nicola Sturgeon’s really mad at Aberdeen Now eight of their players have been placed in quarantine They went out for a drink and what do you think…


Lower Than The World

  There are people dying We can’t go on Pretending day-by-day Lower than the world Lower than Europe Lower than the Death Star and entire galactic empire There’s a choice you’re making You’re not saving…



Lady Bauchle

  She’s the lady, she’s the lady bauchle She’s the lady, the lady bauchle She’s the lady, she’s the lady bauchle She’s the lady, the lady bauchle Now she’s wrapped in ermine Scuttling with the…


Carlaw Jackson

And he’s off!   He got carried away in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout Talkin’ ’bout Carlaw Jackson What the fuck are you banging on about? Carlaw Jackson, he’s gonna blow a fuse,…


Bollocks!

As Brian Blessed trends again for cursing on telly, we remember his finest swearfest:


Modern Major Orator

  I am the very model of a modern major orator I wiffle and I waffle – a great stammerer and stutterer I know the queen of England, and I quote Latin historical My verbal…


Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV

  They say listening to Metallica can calm a monkey down But listening to Trump can make a housefly frown He’s just saying words that don’t make any sense Octopus, verandah, look a squirrel on…


All For Unionism

  Lockstep we gaily on we go Jack, McConnell and Carlaw Arm in arm with London – oh All for unionism Even if Scotland says No We’re dragged down by the undertow Following orders, on…