Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV
They say listening to Metallica can calm a monkey down But listening to Trump can make a housefly frown He’s just saying words that don’t make any sense Octopus, verandah, look a squirrel on…
Politics
All For Unionism
Lockstep we gaily on we go Jack, McConnell and Carlaw Arm in arm with London – oh All for unionism Even if Scotland says No We’re dragged down by the undertow Following orders, on…
I Wouldn’t Touch A Russian With A Ten Foot Pole
I wouldn’t touch a Russian with a ten foot pole, Ten foot pole, ten foot pole I wouldn’t touch a Russian with a ten foot pole Nyet, nyet, nyet Well we published a report…
Boris On Tour
Oh, he’s used to hiding in fridges Now he’ll have to hide from the midges It’s Boris, ya hoor, on a farewell tour of Scotland Last time he left by the back door This…
Desmond Swayne
Desmond Swayne is a strange person He won’t buy clothes, looks like Colonel White Or Freddie Starr He won’t mask up, he will not shop, he’s ragin’ A selfish view, see through baby blue…
Keep The Heid
“It’s in everybody’s interest that we just all keep the heid around this and do the right things.” Keep the heid Keep the heid I was thirsting for a beer (keep the heid, keep…
Eat Out To Help Out
You shall have a fishy on a little dishy Thanks to our wonderful Chancellor Rishi With these vouchers you are really spoiling us But only from Monday to Wednesday, cuz He knows what’ll get…
How To Speak English
A lesson in how to be fluent in your native language and string words together in a coherent fashion.
There’s No Such Thing As A Border
There’s no such thing As a border between England and Scotland Well, what’s that thing Called the Scottish Borders? Aggravated, the blonde spare prick Won’t admit he’s blind and thick Jump up bubble up,…
Fucking Press Ups?
Press ups? Get down on your knees Ya pair of dungarees Fucking press ups? Get a grip ya twats Get some yoga mats Ya downward facing dogs It’s the terror of knowing these cunts…