Politics

Looking After The One Show

I am on the One Show I’m wearing my best shoes My husband Arthur Askey Is on the couch with me too This is now what passes For political insight Jobs for the boys and…


Strong And Stable

Strong and stable, strong and stable, I’m your mum, I’m your mum. Let me sell your health care, let me sell your health care, don’t live long don’t live long Strong and stable Strong and…


Caledonia Uber Alles

  I am Governor Jerry Brown Nicola Sturgeon was in town We slagged off the president… Sturgeon has no demands She won’t shake Trump’s tiny hands But he dictates how this is seen He’ll call…


Stickers On A Statue

D’you ever seem to have one of those days where nationalism’s just not doing it for you anymore? Well you know, I used to have those just about all the time. But I found a…


Wightman In Holyrood Parly

  Who Owns Scotland The aristocracy who came before us They handed it all down and divvied it all up But the poor had no lawyers Lords and conglomorates Scooping up all the acres We’re…


Now Is Not The Time

We were on the cliff edge and Theresa May says Rollover Willie, Ruth and Kez, Theresa May sez Rollover So they all rolled over but Nicola said No So Theresa May said Now is not…


Sadiq Khan

Sometimes it’s hard to be the Mayor of London I can’t imagine what it’s like in Scotchland I’m not saying your racists Well, not to your faces But really that’s the gist of my cunning…


Compulsive Liar

I flew into space With Ant and Dec and Chevvy Chase I was in a film with Ross from Friends I am the Queen at the weekends I’m Paul Nuttall, compulsive liar My trousers, pants,…



No To Joy

  So farewell United Kingdom You have left us with no choice Pushed the Bill through – no amendments Clearly Scotland has no voice The real fight starts now, so says Corbyn Handing Theresa a…