Big Black Cat

Villagers are being advised to be vigilant after a reported sighting of a black panther in east Ayrshire. Here’s one we found earlier…

Big black cat on the railway track
Chased by a mad fat bastard chap
PC Swallow was his name
Heavy breathing is his game
He filmed it on his mobile phone
And watched it panting at home alone
He sent it to the BBC
Now everyone says,

Hey PC!

Well at first he thought it was a black labrador
If only he’d a decent camcorder
There’s not much more to this story
The footage is very fuzzy
That hasn’t stopped the BBC
From showing it to us constantly

Mad fat bastard!
Mad fat bastard!
Mad fat bastard!
Mad fat bastard!

Big black cat
Big black cat
Big black cat
Fancy that!

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