She’s the lady, she’s the lady bauchle
She’s the lady, the lady bauchle
She’s the lady, she’s the lady bauchle
She’s the lady, the lady bauchle
Now she’s wrapped in ermine
Scuttling with the vermin
Ooohhhh

What has she done? (Bang the orange drum)
To save the union (She baked a bun)
Her greatest achievement yet (Not that I’m taking bets)
Is writing for the Glenrothes Gazette

She’s the lady, she’s the lady bauchle
She’s the lady, she’s bloody awful
She’s the lady, she’s the lady bauchle
She’s a colonel, not a corporal,
Have I got news for Bawjaws
She championed the rape clause
Ooohhhh

On a photo-op (on a tank top)
She likes to say No (except to a buffalo)
She’s such a clown (she’ll say, Sit down)
Such an arrogant clown

She’s the lady, she’s the lady bauchle
She’s the lady, the lady bauchle
She’s the lady, she’s the lady bauchle
She’s the lady, the lady bauchle
A media confection
No need to stand now for election
Ooohhhh

You can’t handle the Ruth
The whole Ruth
And nothing but the Ruth