Only Pools And Horse Manure
As Glasgow’s Lord Provost reveals her shoes and knickers collection, we are reminded of the old MPs expenses scandal of yore: Stick a pony in me pocket I’ll pay for riding lessons too If…
Articles by Tommy Mackay
Rory Stewart (Let’s Talk About Brexit)
I fell down the stairs, cracked my ribs And try to be authentic and spontaneous So, what I’m saying there is that I have, unfortunately, principles Let’s talk about Brexit, eh? I am Ro…
Doing It With It
Ah look at all the lonely people Ah look at all the lonely people Doing it with it on a computer D’you know that it’s called CAD It’s in 3D They can build houses…
Priti Fey Cunt
There’s no point in basking On the Golan Heights Or sunbathing while wearing tights Oh fancy bumping into you Benjamin Netanyahu Priti Patel Situation Vacant Priti Patel Situation Vacant Don’t ask us to fund…
Toby Young, Oh What A Twat
Toby Young, oh what a twat But he’s got a caustic wit Toby Young, oh what a twat Deleting all his tweets about tits How To Lose Friends – a speciality A pal of…
Riot Girls
Brendan O’Neill How does it feel To be so macho? (Oh I bet you’re so mad) He’s just a front For some right wing cunts Time for a Brexit square go The swedge is…
Technology Lessons
Your mattress will monitor your nightmares Your fridges will beep for more cheese We’ll be culled by pink-eyed terminators And limbless chickens will run free You’ll see It’s the future according to me I…
Boooooooooooooo!
Brand new Borrissey album out now. A criminal record to match his criminal record. Tracks: Thicker Than Lulu Axe Me Back Door Boris I Am The Boris Boos, Boris, It’s Boos Telt Shorting The Pound…
Stop Prorogation
Stop prorogation In the name of the supreme court Boris, Boris, I’m aware of what you do Each time you hear a ‘Boo!’ I know you’re in No.10 Meeting your other love again But…
Swinson (Starry Starry Eyed)
Starry starry eyed Paint your palette blue and gray Wash those liberal tears away From eyes that know the darkness in your soul Further your career Invite more tories in, don’t hear Just how…