Articles by Tommy Mackay

Necessary Hashtags

  Necessary Hashtags Necessary Hashtags WhatsApp Encryption I can’t stand the RAM Inside my Windows What is all this memory? The internet’s a sham Oh I remember News on the BBC Google is for terror…


Looking After The One Show

I am on the One Show I’m wearing my best shoes My husband Arthur Askey Is on the couch with me too This is now what passes For political insight Jobs for the boys and…


Strong And Stable

Strong and stable, strong and stable, I’m your mum, I’m your mum. Let me sell your health care, let me sell your health care, don’t live long don’t live long Strong and stable Strong and…


War Ukulele

with apologies to Tom Robinson Ooh what a pickle we’re in missus A fool in the White House, a fool in north Korea We’re even having to march for science These tiny leaders might not…


The Eejit

This is the story… Iggy Pop moves to Scotland where he annoys the neighbours by playing loud music at night. After a disastrous spell playing left back for Cumbernauld Town, he goes on the rampage…


First We Take Lumphinnans

Speed hovercraft like a bird on the wing Over the Forth to Fife We’re coming over to absolve your sins And spice up your dreary life First we take Lumphinnans Then we take Leven We’ve…





Caledonia Uber Alles

  I am Governor Jerry Brown Nicola Sturgeon was in town We slagged off the president… Sturgeon has no demands She won’t shake Trump’s tiny hands But he dictates how this is seen He’ll call…