Articles by Tommy Mackay

Stickers On A Statue

D’you ever seem to have one of those days where nationalism’s just not doing it for you anymore? Well you know, I used to have those just about all the time. But I found a…


Sympathy For The Reckless

  Please allow me to introduce myself I’m a man of mirth and taste I’ve been around for long, long years 50, in fact, and another eight I was around when Tony Blair Had his…


Wightman In Holyrood Parly

  Who Owns Scotland The aristocracy who came before us They handed it all down and divvied it all up But the poor had no lawyers Lords and conglomorates Scooping up all the acres We’re…


Now Is Not The Time

We were on the cliff edge and Theresa May says Rollover Willie, Ruth and Kez, Theresa May sez Rollover So they all rolled over but Nicola said No So Theresa May said Now is not…


I Wanna Marry A Muirfield Member

I want to marry a Muirfield member And keep him company I want to marry a Muirfield member And be his caddy I’ll polish his wood by the light of day And shout Fore! and…


Let’s Flounce

  Hey baby if you’ve had enough Or you’re Huckleberry Hounded off Let’s flounce Let’s flounce Do the instagram and the facebook too Unfortunately you don’t qualify for Who’s Who Let’s flounce Let’s flounce Dramatic…


Porn Stash

Let the sideshow begin In Japan lived a guy And this man was called Joji Onanism was his bag Till his jazz mags fought back Ever since his balls dropped He played till his eyes…



Sadiq Khan

Sometimes it’s hard to be the Mayor of London I can’t imagine what it’s like in Scotchland I’m not saying your racists Well, not to your faces But really that’s the gist of my cunning…


Compulsive Liar

I flew into space With Ant and Dec and Chevvy Chase I was in a film with Ross from Friends I am the Queen at the weekends I’m Paul Nuttall, compulsive liar My trousers, pants,…