Entertainment


Arseholes At Night

Well, we all have different faces, see? Depending on our places in society We act different with friends and family Than we do when we’re working for the company All of us are Jekyll &…


Woman At Work Down Under

Fleeing from a fried-out party On a telly trail, head full of smarties I met Ant and Dec, they made me nervous They fed me kangaroo anus And they said: “Do you want to clean…



Bull Penis Smoothie

Slow down, you drink too fast You got to make the feeling last Just knocking back the bovine juice Gulping down bull penis smoothie Ba da da da da da bull penis smoothie Hiya Kezia,…


The Dugdale Sleeps Tonight

Eeeeeeee ooo weeooo A weeea weeeoo A win? No way… In the jungle, the TV jungle The day job’s left behind Oh in the jungle, the meeja jungle The day job’s left behind Dickie Leonard…



A Frightfully Posh Halloween

  Hello old bean How is Jocasta? We’re having a frightfully posh soiree It’s Halloween, we’re having pasta Shaped like the bats in our belfry We’ve invited all the locals Tarquin is getting rather tipsy…


Positively Forth Bridge

You got a lotta cables to keep you in suspense You span the Forth from Fife to South Queensferry You used to have a toll when that used to make sense But now that toll’s…


Whisky Galore In The Jar

  The late, great bobble hatted Tom Weir gives his account of the grounding of the whisky-laden SS Politician which sank off the coast of Eriskay in 1941. Accompanied by Thin Lizzy, naturally. Please follow…