David Davis Eyes
Mention ‘impact assessments’ just once more and I’ll more than likely kill you Merkel, Merkel Angela Merkel you fervently moan is this a Pandora’s box I have unleashed and have you seen Schrodinger’s cat?…
News
My Absolut Boy Novichok
My boy Novichok You make my heart go giddyup You make my insides quiver Fuck my kidneys and liver Whoa oh, my boy Novichok If somebody pegs it It’ll take their minds off Brexit…
Porton Down
Novichok’s back! Here’s when Boris Johnson was caught lying yet again. This time over the poisoning of the Skripals and what an expert at Porton Down told him of the chemicals’ origins. Sigh… Step down…
Bigmouth Tweets Again
Donald, Donald I wasnae joking When I said I’d like to Rub a balloon on your head Donald, Donald I wasnae joking You are scum, by rights we should Cut off your tiny thumbs…
King Of Kirkcaldy (Fade Away and Radiate)
Oooh Gordon. I know you spend night times Wrapped like Ghandi in a cool cool neon vow Fade away and radiate – Naw! Fade away and radiate – Naw! Why won’t anybody listen to…
Subtweet Good To Me
As Germany crash out of the World Cup, Kay Burley does the biggest subtweet in history… Tank girl, Dugdale isn’t it a pity We don’t want you to contribute to the kitty This is bam…
Jesus Was A Refugee
I saw you on my TV Hashtag BBCQT It was all a bit cringy Mo Farrah, Freddie Mercury Jesus was a Refugee Wearing Calvin Kleins in Calvary Gallus gals from Galilee Buy one god,…
Jobby Moon
After The Guardian publishes an article about jobbymoons, a nation guffaws… We’re off to Jobby Moon We’ll follow Mr Broon Jobby Moon, Jobby moooooon Be back soon
My Inner Dictator
I’m the Tory MP for Aberdeen South I like to slag the SNP with my oversized mouth People say I am a bit insane Cos I sat on the throne of Saddam Hussein What a…
Diet Of No Fibre
(lyrics by @Tucker5Law) Backin’ up, constipated Tweetin’ rage with his scants down Went the distance, now he’s back on his feet Just a man and his compacted bowel When he was young, it happened so…