Sand And Death
Syria’s sand and death That’s what the president said The man who runs the country He thinks that life’s a beach He made an important speech He’s been talking Turkey He said that we…
News
Achoo
Who knows what the wind’s gonna bring when the invalids sing La La’s with a powerful sting that’d stop any opera or any Bing Sing, spread the news across the land: All winners will…
I Saw Mommy Nicking Sanitisers
I saw Mommy nicking sanitisers From the shelves in Boots on the high street She didn’t see me creep Up the aisle to have a peep She thought I was in WH Smith Buying…
I Touch My Face
I wash my hands following government guidelines Singing God Save The Queen 54 times I miss out ‘Rebellious Scots to crush’ I can’t find anti-bacterial handcream in Lush Oh I’m a complete disgrace And…
In The Name Of Jesus!
As rabid eugenicist, Andrew Sabisky resigns, more volunteers come forward for Dominic Cummings’s barmy army… From the album Questionable Times by Half Bam Half Whisky. Listen here
European
Elton John opens the Reckless Eurovision Song Contest with a radical re-interpretation of Rocket Man: If there is one thing in my life I’ve learned as I get older It’s the incredible healing power…
Northampton Feeling
I slipped out this morning from Farthing Wood Went down the high street to look for food Climbed on the roof of a chemist shop I scratched my arse and down I dropped Northampton…
These People
Boris Johnson: “These people!” Kirsten Oswald :“The new daily allowance for the unelected and unaccountable peers being stuffed into the House of Lords by the Prime Minister is set to rise to £323. The…
Do The Queensferry Walk
I wanna walk across the river Forth From South Queensferry to the North Across the Queensferry Crossing in style It’s only one and a half mile! But they won’t let me – I…
Say It Ain’t No, Murray
Say it ain’t No, Murray Say it ain’t No Now you’re working for the SNP And they’ve got a right to know Say it ain’t No, Murray Say it ain’t No I’m sure you…